Category Archives: Prat of the Week

Prat of the Week #2

It’s that time of the week again, where I take a particular individual in the world, celebrity or not, and rip him/her and call them prat of the week. Very simple.

This week has been a VERY hard one for me mainly because I haven’t been keeping up with the news or come across any particular prats that jump out at me, apart from a few disguntled fellow Evertonians that make me embarrased to support the club, so this week’s prat of the week could be seen as a bit unfair and maybe slightly uncalled for. However, without further ado this week’s prat of the week goes to JOHN RYAN.

Oh John what have you done you prat!

For those who don’t know John Ryan is a “pioneer” of plastic surgery with a Guinness record as the oldest footballer of all time once coming on as a substitute in a league game aged 52. He is also the Chairman of Doncaster Rovers Football Club. Seems a pretty harmless guy right? Yeh, to be fair he is. So why would the chairman of Doncaster Rovers, a football club I have zero interest and zero affiliation with, be deemed by me as prat of the week? Well it’s for one reason and one reason only. He’s just put the most hated footballer in the country on a wage at his football club.

Yes Mr Ryans beloved Rovers have just signed the biggest and vilest bellend to ever grace the English Football Leagues, the one, the only (thank christ) El Hadji Diouf.

Oh Christ, not you again!!

Just when English football fans had thought we had seen the back of this complete and utter gobshite Mr Ryan goes and brings him back on a three month contract. I won’t go into details as to why I hate Diouf as much because, let’s be honest, it’s obvious how much of a vile, detestable human being this waste of space is. All I will ask is WHY? Mr Ryan, WHY? Why would you want this complete helmet affiliated with your football club? I’m just so glad that Donny are not and never will be a Premier League side. So, though it may seem somewhat petty that is why Mr John Ryan is officially prat of the week. Nice one John, you bulb!

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Prat of the Week #1

An old feature from one of my old blogs that seemed fairly popular was my weekly “Prat of the Week” piece. So, naturally, I decided to bring this regular piece back. Prat of the Week is simply my way of identifying someone in the world, famous or not, who has done or said something so horrendously offensive or stupid that they fully deserve to be exploited for complete and utter prat, helmet, tool, dickhead that they are. So with that out the way let’s start with POTW#1…

This week choosing POTW was hard. What with Mario Ballotelli burning his house down, John Terry racially abusing Anton Ferdinand and those helmets in the States dressing up as “Superheroes” I was most definitely spoilt for choice when it came to writing about complete Prats. However, The award for prat of the week goes to this man….

Baldy, Petulant, childish Prat.

Mr Andy Jacobs. Who? I hear you ask. Yeh, that’s exactly what I would of said to you last Saturday had you asked me who this guy is. So who is Andy Jacobs? Well Andy is a “pundit” (I use that term VERY lightly) and sports radio presenter on talkSPORT radio, was once the producer of Baddiel and Skinner’s Fantasy Football Show and is also the former editor of FHM. Hence straight away why I did not have a clue who this human was. I don’t read FHM, I’m not much of a fan of Frank Skinner (Baddiel was decent like) nor do I listen to talkSPORT. Never have, most likely never will, if I wanted to listen to moaning armchair redshite and boring cockney Mancs or nouveau Chelski supporters all day long then I’d go out and buy a DAB radio and tune in, but needless to say I’d rather wipe my backside with razor blades than do such a thing.

So why would I give this pundit who’s name I had never heard of before Sunday, just gone, a prat of the week award? Because on Sunday this pundit and household name (for some Sports fans anyway) took a Tweet sent to him FAR too seriously and decided to get personal and offensive, which led to tirades of abuse sent to him, which lead to him having privatise his Twitter account which all originally was aimed towards none other than, well…ME!

Ok let me explain as to how this came about. Like most football fans on Sunday I found myself engrossed in the 2 Sky Games as well as streaming Everton’s game. One of the games on Sunday as most people know was the West London derby QPR v Chelsea, so I decided to watch it whilst talking to my mate Ped (from Followtonians) in the tinychat room we use when watching Everton away fixtures that we can’t get to. Before the game kicked off Ped recommended that I watch the match via the Fanzone option in which Our prat of the week Andy an “avid” and no doubt Nouveau Chelski fan went up against Former QPR player and current Youth Coach, Marc Bircham in a special celebrity fanzone.

Well Im not going into details about what was said by him on the show, because no doubt people who are reading this were watching it, as our prat Andy kicked, screamed, and spat his dummy out for 90 minutes in a tirade of tantrums usually seen by a spoilt middle class 6 year old child who has been refused his pudding for not eating his vegetables. I mean this guy was so unbelievably petulant and childish he made most of the guests on Jeremy Kyle seem somewhat, well, Normal.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m just as passionate a football fan as the next guy and I have had moments of anger and screaming and sulking, but unlike Mr Jacobs, I’m not a celebrity and I’m not in the public eye and I didn’t do it at a level where the entire nation can watch me live. Needless to say Andy’s petulant tirade caused me to laugh so much that I felt neccesity to send our POTW a little tweet saying, and I quote “Stop moaning you mardy sod #fanzone.” Pretty innocent right? Not malicious in all fairness. Anyway a few hours later our POTW replied with the following TWO tweets –

Reply number Two

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, Ok I know what people are going to say and yes I did reply to the man by calling him, well, read for yourself and yeh maybe I shouldn’t have done this but as you can clearly see this guy decided to get personal and have a crack at my weight. Ok, granted I am a big lad but, for me, having people have a dig at me for my weight or anything in general is water off a duck’s back, christ I’ve dealt with it through years of school I’m sure as hell not going to be offended when some no mark z-lister tries to rip me.  However, imagine if I was a different person. Imagine for a second I was a sensitive teenager with a weight issue who has been embarrassed by a man who is followed by thousands on twitter with a personal, vindictive insult that could lead to severe depression or even suicide, hell, shit like this happens all the time.  Or let’s put it in a different point of view. For all he knows I could be a hard knock, a mental bastard, who took offence to this, drove down to talkSPORTS HQ and waited in the car park armed with a bat ready to weave his head into the tarmac. Needless to say, I’m neither of these things but still without any real justification Mr Jacobs decided to carry on spitting his dummy out and personally deal out some verbal abuse my way. Shortly after his cry baby antics Jacobs was inundated with messages from people calling him an idiot and a cry baby of such which led to the deletion of his tweets aimed at me and others which further led to the privatisation of his Twitter account.

So there you go, that is why Mr Andrew Eustace Jacobs is officially my PRAT OF THE WEEK.

Oh, and if anyone from talkSPORT or anyone with connection within talkSPORT would like to pass this on to Mr Jacobs or perhaps maybe even one of his superiors I’d be MORE than happy to talk to him or them about my piece, but OVER MY DEAD BODY, will this be getting deleted

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