Tag Archives: Premier League

10 (actually 11) really crap (outfield) football kits from the 90’s

Yes I know, it’s been done before by almost every blogger that mentions football or fashion in their blog, I realise what I’m doing is not new, it’s not original but screw it, I’ve had absolutely sod all to write about of late so I need a few buffer pieces to try and keep all 3 of my regular readers entertained for 30 seconds before they get bored of my inane moaning.

Anyway, the 90’s, the decade that saw the end of the Tory reign in Britain (until recent), the birth of the Premier League, Football Italia on Channel 4, being mega because you had a Berghaus coat on, boss Kickers Jumpers that you could show off in on Mufti day to name but a few brilliant things that happened in the 90’s. It wasn’t all great though. The Peter Johnson years at Everton, jarge Puma discs trainees, Adidas popper pants, Eclipse “Acid face smiley” tshirts, fashion in the 90’s was a bit jarge and it wasn’t just in the streets, it “graced” our football pitches. So without further here are 10 REALLY crap football kits from the 90’s

#10 – Stoke City’s 1992/3 Away Kit

The ECG on Acid kit

I can’t even….what is going on here? I’m thinking ECG graph on acid maybe? I know acid house was big in the early 90’s but this thing is just ridiculous.

#9 – Australian National team 1991 home Kit

Aloha!

I had a conversation with my Australian friend recently and she asked the question “Why don’t people ever seem to take us Aussies seriously?” and here is the answer. Look at it, just look at it, that’s not a football kit, it’s a friggen Hawaiian shirt or a costume from Scarface, absolutely ridiculous.

#8 – Chelsea away kit 1996/7

The broken television kit

Once upon a time Chelsea weren’t just a really shit club, they also had a really shit away kit. Combining a strange blend of orange with that grey static pattern that you get on your telly when it’s being a pain in the arse. Look what that static design has done to Ol’ Sparky’s bonce.

#7- Everton 92/93 Away Kit

It's "Salmon"

Urgh, I didn’t want to have to do this but my god me and almost every sensible Evertonian out there HATED this kit. The “salmon” (BOLLOCKS IT WAS PINK) and navy striped joke was only the beginning of crap away kits at EFC. We repeated the “Salmon” thing again in 2001 and then went and released that baby pink monstrosity last season as well. For the love of God Everton, STOP!!

#6 – Birmingham City Home 92/93

The 80's wallpaper look AND matching Shorts

Look it’s Paul Holmes, one of the worst players to wear an Everton shirt wearing one of the worst football kit’s ever designed. I’m sure this was the design my uncle had for his wallpaper when he was still living at home, and them shorts…brilliant, and to think this was a HOME kit as well HA!

#5-  Manchester Utd 95/96 away kit

Even Fergie hated this thing

Remember this bad boy? Even Sir Alex hated this barbaric sight for sore eyes. According to him this kit was solely responsible for Man Utd going down 3-0 at half time at The Dell in Southampton. I always remember Ol’ Whiskey nose himself saying that the players couldn’t see each other because the kit “blended” into the crowd and ordered the side to change to their alternative 3rd kit at half time. Not being funny but if anyone in the crowd was the same colour as this shirt I’d be worried about them and recommend they get to a doctor as soon as possible.

#4 – Liverpool away kit 96/97

Ec..what?

Now before any Reds come on here kicking off calling me “bitter” have a little look up to #7 before winging ok. Anyway, apparently this was “ecru” coloured whatever that is. To me this is what the aftermath of a school shirt looked like after ya ma gives up on trying to clean it cos you keept playing football in park after school in it. That or the head on a pint of Guiness. I always remember ripping my mate in school for wearing this for P.E, he still insists that it was the best away kit ever released to this day, he is still an idiot.

#3 Arsenal 91/92 Away kit

The Bruised banana

Yellow was the standard away colour for Arsenal for years and still remains their regular away colour, but this thing, good god, it’s awful. It just looks simply like a bruised banana and what was worse is they occasionally had to wear it with Yellow shorts too.

#2 Norwich 92/93 Home Kit

 

Canary Shit

This is what I imagine a yellow tshirt would look like after leaving it at the bottom of a bird cage for 24 hours. Ironic, that the Canaries would wear a shirt that looks like a canary has shit all over it, awful.

#1 Hull City 92/93 & 93/94 Home Kits.

They're not so GREEEATTT

A bit of a double whammy featuring the same club in consecutive years. I know Hull City’s nickname is the “The Tigers” but seriously, this thing just takes the complete piss. I’d like to think even the kids of Hull didn’t show up to school on a mufti dressed in this Tony the Tiger monstrosity, however they are from Hull and I have been wrong before. What’s worse is that the club didn’t learn their lesson from this utter joke and released this THING the following season –

Dean Windass doing his best Peter Stringfellow impression

 

So there you have 10 (well actually 11) really crap football kits from the 90’s. Sorry for putting your eyes through this gallery of monstrosities I will try and get back to doing “normal” writing as soon as something worthwhile comes along to write about.

If by now you haven’t had the urge to rip your retinas out with a blunt object then please feel free to “Google” any of the following crap kits from the 90’s, in the list below, that unfortunately never made the cut this time. Who know’s there may be a Crap Kit #2 in the near future, with the lack of “proper” subject matter to discuss at the moment that may be sooner rather than later, I hope not though.

Other crap kits –

*Aston Villas “green and black stripe thing” away kit 1993-95

*Man Utd’s “Blue snowflake thing” away kit 1991-92

*Brighton & Hove Albions “Red and white roadkill” away kit 1991-92

*Leeds Utd “Streaky blue, yellowy green thing” 3rd kit 1991/92

*Kansas City Wizards “Gay rainbow” 1997/98 Home kit

*Liverpool’s “Snot green” 1991-93 away kit

*Shimuzu S-Plus “Orange thing” 1992-94 Home kit

*Blackpool’s “Wacky Blue Argyle thing” 1997-98 Away kit

Big thanks to Diz Wright and Kris Baughan for their “crap kit” contributions on Facebook, Nice one lads. Any other suggestions? Chuck them my way.

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Followtonians on tour

It’s a rarity to have as busier week as I have this week and although it has seemed somewhat chaotic and non-stop it has been nothing short of one the most amazing weeks I’ve had in a long time.

This week my friend Eric Howell and his wife Tracie came over for their first visit to Liverpool all the way from Kansas, USA. I first spoke to Eric through the world of that Twitter lark roughly about two years ago, his love for Everton yet being isolated over 3000 miles away from his spiritual home of Goodison drove him to try and start up a podcast about the club he loved. After a few weeks of working on a plan and despite being separated by 3000 miles Eric and Goodsion Park regular Ped managed to record the first episode of “FOLLOWTONIANS.” A year and a half later the podcast is still going strong, and despite not being a regular contributor to the show myself I have remained good friends with the lads behind the show, staying in touch with Eric via all forms of social media and recently getting to a few matches with Ped and his family. As this was Eric’s first trip over to Liverpool, needless to say we have been helping him plan to make the trip quite a special one.

The Howells arrived in Liverpool on Tuesday just gone and despite having to rearrange flights and make 2 separate connections they made it over for their first game at Goodison against league leaders Man City, and what a first game it was. I wasn’t at the match myself unfortunately but from what I’ve been told Eric was like a kid who just downed a 2 litre bottle of Coke and a massive bag of Jelly beans before opening his presents on Christmas morning and who can blame him, travel thousands of miles for your first game and Everton beat league leaders City 1-0 with a bracing shot from new boy Darren Gibson, followed shortly by the boss news we had actually SIGNED a player, Nikica Jelavic from Rangers, and the re-arrival of former Everton man Steven Pienaar who despite leaving under not so great circumstances has had a torrid time at Spurs and has been welcomed back at Goodison, what a way to start your holiday.

Wednesday saw myself and Eric and our other halves Tracie and Kirsty head into the City of Chester for a “classy” pub dinner (Sorry, Eric haha) followed by a nice stroll around Chester’s famous Roman Walls and despite having murder with my bank in the morning (again, sorry Eric) it was quite a nice pleasant day spent finally spending time with a friend who I’ve spoken to a million times but never actually physically met until then.

Thursday was one of the big days we were all looking forward to. A LIVE! recording of Followtonians at Walkabouts in Liverpool. The recording was attended by a good sized group of Evertonians as well as BBC Radio Merseyside’s Football pundit Alan Jackson who has on several occasions helped to “plug” the podcast on his show. A superb night was had by all, loads of drink was flowing, putting faces to fellow Everton “tweeters”, plenty of jokes and “banter” (I HATE that word), an Everton quiz with Free £5 bet slips up for grabs and just a generally great atmosphere made it a terrific night.

It was Saturday that was the icing on top of the cake for all of us. An away day down the East Lancs Road to Wigan, anyone who knows me knows that an ACTUAL away trip is a rarity for me these days, so even if it was just Wigan this was going to be a special one. The day started with a group of 7 of us including Eric, Ped and I as well as Ped’s sister Jayne, brother law Paddy and young nephew Aidan and another American chap called Nick, who is currently on leave from the US Airforce based out near Kaiserslautern in Germany, heading for a massive breakfast in some greasy spoon in West Derby near Melwood. After we all ploughed down our huge portions of bacon, eggs, sausage, black pudding and the rest we headed on the short 18 mile journey to Wigan for an afternoon of booze, Everton and more booze.

Anyone who has been to Wigan will know it’s a great away day, especially if your one of the more “local” teams i.e Everton, Liverpool, United, City etc etc. It’s a ground where the home support isn’t exactly great so thereby away fans are allocated an entire stand, in other words Wigan was invaded by 4,250 Evertonians who, through conquering the snow and sleet, were all thirsty for beer and hungry for three points. Although the thirst was quenched, ALOT, the three points evaded us after a clumsy Tim Howard mistake saw Wigan lead 1-0 only for “super sub” Anichebe to seal the equaliser. Despite the crap result, poor quality of football, the freezing weather conditions, the “incident” on the concourse at half time (which I will go into in a separate post) we didn’t allow our spirits to be dampened as we headed back to Wigan’s Red Robin pub which was well and truly taken over by Everton fans on the day for more beer and laughs. All in all a great day out at Wigan with a great bunch of people and a great opportunity to once again put faces to “Twitter handles” of many Blues I’ve spoken to a million times but never had the chance to meet.

The week was topped off nicely on Saturday night with a massive group of 12 of us headed back into Liverpool for a few more drinks in the Slaughter House followed by a cracking meal at “The Restaurant” Bar & Grill in Exchange Street, Liverpool. Needless to say by the end of it all I was slightly steaming drunk, sod it, I admit I was shit faced, but it was worth it. A terrific week had with friends regular and new and I hope it won’t be too long until we get to see Eric and Tracie back on our shores again.

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Filed under 2011/12, Away Day, Everton, Uncategorized

R.I.P Gary Ablett

The last time I updated the blog was with an entry remembering the late great Gary Speed’s untimely death in November and despite planning a big blog update it seems that will have to go on the back burner after the very sad news of the passing of yet another great former Everton player who I got to watch as a kid. Today former Everton, Liverpool and Birmingham (as well as a host of other clubs) defender Gary Ablett passed away after a 16 month battle against non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (cancer of the blood cells).

Gary was brought to Everton from neighbours and rivals Liverpool in 1992 for a fee of £750,000 and established himself into the first team straight away. He played a massive role at Everton including playing a part in the famous “Great Escape” of the 93/94 season as well as playing a pivotal role in Joe Royle’s “Dogs of War” in 1995. He was part of the team that picked up Everton’s last pieces of silverware winning both the FA Cup in a well fought out battle against Alex Ferguson’s Man Utd millionaires team and shortly after beating League Champions Blackburn Rovers in the Charity Shield.

In 1996 after 158 appearances and 8 goals with Everton and Gary was sold to Birmingham and later went on to have spells at Wycombe, Blackpool and a brief spell in America with the Long Island Rough Riders however Gary returned to the club he had helped bring success to in a coaching role which got his managerial career off to a start. From Everton he went back across the park to the team he started with as Liverpool’s reserve manager and then having to take on the tough task of managing of an Administration plagued Stockport County.

His last footballing role was as Roy Keane’s assistant at Ipswich Town it was here that Gary was diagnosed with his condition and despite having a slim chance with his cancer he continued to put a smiling face on when interviewed in programmes and zines of his former clubs. As you can see below (the photo was taken from the Everton programme last season)

During his career Gary picked up 2 football league trophies with Liverpool, 2 FA Cup winners medals one with Everton, one with Liverpool as well as 4 Charity shield winners medals including a shared medal in 1990/1. He will be sorely missed by all at his former clubs but non-more than both Everton and Liverpool where he established a great career with both clubs from his home city.

R.I.P Gareth Ian Ablett  1965-2012 – Nil Satis Nisioptimum/You’ll Never Walk Alone

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Everton 2 – 1 Wolves

The Blue Union (Photo taken by Me please source your photo to my blog or credit if your going to use it. Thanks)

I guess I’m overdue on a post match review of this one as it’s been almost 5 days now since Everton managed to record only their 2nd home league win of the season and I think the main reason for this is because for the last few days I’ve been trying to word out an entry discussing my views and opinions on what is going on at the club at the moment. Obviously as 99% of Blues will know there was a march prior to the game on Saturday regarding the Blue Union vs Kenwright and the board. Now up till now I’ve not really reported publicly my views and opinion on the goings on and where I stand and to be fair I won’t be doing so in this entry. I’m still writing quite a big article on my views that I have been working on for a couple of days and I’ve been approaching in a manner as to not offend too much and not find my self on the end of social persecution from those who’s opinion differs to mine but at the same time be completely honest and say where I stand from a personal point of view. I’ll just say now quickly that YES I AM a supporter of the Blue Union and have been from the start but I’ll leave it at that for now and hopefully I’ll be able to finish my article regarding Blue Union vsThe Board within the next day or two, that is if I don’t consistently hit writers block.

As for the game itself, what can I say, 3 points are 3 points and I’m made up but, as usual, we did it the hard way again.

Our view for the day. Upper Bullens Row R Seat 91

I managed to get to the game myself on Saturday with my good friend Alex unfortunately we ended up in the heavens right at the back of the Upper Bullens right next to the away fans….well at least were the away fans should of been. Surprisingly, Wolves didn’t sell out their allocation for this which I found bizarre considering tickets for the Top of the Bullens were only £20 on the day. Nevertheless, we didn’t exactly have the best seats in house but Im not going to complain a tickets a ticket and considering I don’t get to the game as much these days through being completely skint it was boss just to be able to get to Goodison and even better to get the win. However, like I said we did it the hard way again. Fellaini celebrated his 5 year contract extension this week by giving away a penalty that saw Stephen Hunt put Wolves 1-0 up. However, a consolation equalizer just 5 minutes later from Jags’ header off a Bainesy free kick got the ball rolling for Everton who had been dominant throughout the first half. Everton could of found themselves 2-1 up before half time no thanks to a poor refereeing decision by one of the WORST and most unprofessional referees I’ve ever seen at Goodison. Cahill was brought down by the scruff of his neck by Wolves defender Henry and the referee waived on what was a blatant stonewall penalty, absolutely awful.

The second half saw Everton continue to dominate and have plenty of the ball and plenty of chances, but the ball just didn’t seem to want to go in. However, a lucky break arrived in the 83rd minute when the referee finally pulled his head out of his arse and awarded Everton a penalty after Lois Saha was brought down in the box, up step Bainesy who cooly and collectively slotted away the winner which brought 3 points and with it a nice climb out of the relegation trap door area to just below mid table. Happy Days.

"Your support is fucking shit" - An empty Upper Bullens were Wolves fans should of been

So three points it is then and a nice rise up the table for the Blues, Bolton away next week who are struggling at the arse end of the table so a tough match ahead. Hopefully though the win against Wolves could be the game that turns fortunes around and see’s the Blues start flying high. However, this is Everton so I’m not going to start counting my chickens just yet.

STATS & FACTS

My Man of the Match: Bainesy, outstanding throughout the match and scored as well as assisted.

Attendance: 33,953

Squad: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Heitinga, Baines, Coleman, Fellaini, Osman, Drente (Bilyaletdinov), Cahill (Vellios), Saha (Stracquarlursi)

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Everton 0 – 1 Man Utd

Loosing to a team like Utd is a bit of a write off these days unless your a team like City or Chelsea however Everton walked away from the match on Saturday without their pride being completely knocked in my opinion. Had it not been for a poor defensive mistake in the 17th minute that lead to Utd’s only goal I do strongly believe that Everton could have walked away from the game with at least a point, if not all three.

Couldn’t get to the game on Saturday myself but I did head over to my local to watch it on the telly with a few glasses of coke due to the hangover and the fact it was a midday kick off and despite the result it was a good match to watch. You would of thought that after the embarrassing thrashing Utd received last week and the fact that Everton had six players on the pitch that had played 120 minutes of football less that 72 hours before kick off and were missing Cahill, Drenthe and Distin that Man Utd would be set to cruise this, however this wasn’t the case. It was Everton who made the brighter start when Seamus Coleman came close after just 30 seconds which led to Everton piling on the pressure. Unfortunately though it was Utd that struck the only goal in the game after a poor bit of defending allowed Hernandez or Chicarito or whatever the meffs name is to tap in from point blank range from a cross on 17 minutes. You could tell straight away this deflated Everton and Utd started to put on the pressure. Everton tried the best to push but constant mistakes from Billy (again!!) killed off chances for us. However in the last 10 of the first Everton started to pile on the pressure again and came even closer to scoring after Bainesy’s marvelous free kick struck the bar.

The second half came and Moyesy made the decision to take off Billy who had played garbage in the first half and replace him with 17 year old Ross Barkley. Everton went straight into the second half putting the pressure on again but unfortunately the tiredness of some of players began to show and it seemed that despite the better chances coming for Everton the general possession rate was probably 50/50. The Blues did try and push for a goal by bringing on two strikers in Vellios and young Frenchman Magaye Gueye who had a potential penalty shout near the end only for it to be dismissed (and in fair rightly so as he looked to be going to the ground before any contact was made) but unfortunately just lacked that extra bit of class to push Utd’s back line, even with 6 minutes added time (due to the linesman having to be subbed with the 4th official because he had cramp HA!)

So a disappointing result for the Blue’s but definitely not one to kick and scream about. We played well, but we just couldn’t break the current champions down and just lacked the consistency and that extra kick to get past their solid defence. It’s the Geordies away next, I hate the Geordies, you’ll discover why later this week, but hopefully we can go to their massive soup kitchen on the hill next week and play like we did against Utd and maybe walk away from a ground that hasn’t been favoured by us in recent years with all 3 points.

STATS & FACTS

My man of the match: Coleman (didn’t stop running throughout and created some great chances)

Attendance: 35,494

Squad: Howard, Hibbert, Jagielka, Heitinga, Baines, Coleman, Fellaini, Rodwell, Bilyaletdinov (Barkley), Osman (Velios), Saha (Gueye)

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Filed under 2011/12, Everton, Premier League

Pre-Match Build Up: Man Utd (Home)

Sir Alex Ferguson's breakfast

I’m going to try and make this the last blog update of the week as I’ve gone overboard this week, mainly cos it’s the first week and it was my birthday as well as a midweek game so yeh, last update of this week.

I remember a couple of seasons back doing my regular Saturday trip to Goodison and picking up my regular copy of Everton fanzine When Skies are Grey, ironically, I think it was the Saturday when we famously came from 1-0 down to beat Utd 3-1. Anyway, before the match started I remember sitting in my seat reading an article in WSAG about the relationship between Everton and Utd. Now this may not be a direct quote but I recall the opening sentence of the article being something along the lines of “There’s an old saying that goes the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” This got me thinking, as an Evertonian and a Scouser I can’t stand Utd and I’m certainly not a big fan of Manchester itself neither, but, and as much as I hate to say it, yeh there is a somewhat deep and certainly well hidden..respect? Admiration? Nah I wouldn’t even go that far, I can’t think of the word right now but most understand what I’m getting at here.

Ever since the opening of the Manchester Ship Canal in 1894 the relationship between Scousers and Mancs has been, well, somewhat unpleasant and this has especially shown on the terraces over the years. However, the main rivalry between the cities has shown mainly between Liverpool and Utd, granted Everton and City have a somewhat rivalry going but, let’s be honest, it’s nought compared to the other two, who naturally HATE each other to the point where some VERY unpleasant and vile chants have been sang towards each others fans regarding tragedies that have scarred both football clubs.

So where does the whole concept of “Enemy of my enemy” kick in? Well I can only speak on my own behalf but I’m sure at least one or two fellow Blues will agree. We hate United too but we hate Liverpool more and let’s be honest seeing Liverpool knocked off their perch and fall from grace over the years only to be replaced by their, now, biggest rivals does somewhat make us smirk. Most Liverpool fans will brand us as “bitter” for this but let’s be honest, the second things start going pear shaped for Utd, Liverpool’s fans are the first to jump the joke bandwagon, I mean, christ, you would have thought Liverpool beat Utd in Champions League Final back in May and not Barcelona. I don’t think it’s “bitter” it’s rivalry and it’s all part and package of a rivalry.

Another part of the “admiration” (I really don’t like using that word) for Utd I suppose comes from the fact that over the years, despite the dodgy ref decisions, unnecessary added time and some of the nasty tackles (usually from Paul Scholes), Utd’s squad has consistently oozed with class. You would expect this from a club with a big budget, however, there is something different about Utd than the other big spenders like Liverpool, City, Chelski and Arse. Despite the fact they have the money, let’s be honest, only spend the big bucks when necessary and have picked up some bargains compared to other clubs signings. Granted, as well, they have signed some shite players over the years like any other club but look at some of the signings they’ve made over the year. Ronaldo from Lisbon for £12.5m, I mean c’mon imagine a team trying to sign him for that much now, they’d probably get sued for slander. Another one, a bit closer to home, is the signing of our old boy wonder Wazza, signed for £35m (after add ons) in 2004, the same amount was spent by Liverpool last season on Andy Carroll. Now I’m not taking the piss here but I know who I would rather have in my club.

Utd are now the most successful club in the England after knocking Liverpool off their perch last year and winning the League trophy for the 19th time and I suppose the man to thank for this is Sir Alex Ferguson. Love him or hate him, the moaning, whiskey nosed angry Scotsman is the most successful manager in English League History. Granted, Bob Paisley brought back 20 trophies to Anfield in his 9 year tenure at Liverpool which, I suppose, makes him the most successful manager in the shortest time, but that certainly isn’t a way to discredit Fergie who is now approaching towards his 40th trophy (37 now to be exact). When it comes to the famous Managerial names, Whiskey nose has certainly placed himself up at the top of the pile with the likes of Shankley, Paisley, Kendall, Catterick, Revie and Clough, a good achievement considering at one point in the early days of his tenure Utd fans wanted him out.

So, after all that, United arrive at Goodison on Saturday for the early kick off and needless to say that lot will be hurting right now. Despite wiping aside Aldershot in the cup midweek, let’s be honest, after Sunday’s embarrassing thrashing to next door neighbours, Abu Dhabi FC, Utd will be after blood. Oh Great! what a time to play them, especially after the 120 minutes of Wednesday night against Chelsea. Our record against Utd as it is isn’t fantastic. If memory serves me correct ever since the beginning of the Premiership I think we have only beaten Utd 6 times, 3 times at Goodison, once at Old Trafford and twice at Wembley. However, in the last couple of seasons we’ve caused them a bit of upset including two great comebacks of 1-0 down to win 3-1 and last years 3-1 down to draw 3-3 in extra time so there is hope yet. Unfortunately, I don’t see a good result from this one. Like I said, Utd are hurting right now, there’s nothing worse than getting beat by your neighbours but getting thrashed 6-1 AT HOME is certainly a bitter, bitter pill to swallow so without any doubt Utd will be after blood and are gonna want to wipe the floor with us. I think Everton in this case have to try and go at them and try and hurt them more but at the same time keep their heads up defensively because we all know Utd’s ability to score on the break is what kill opposition off constantly. Like I say I’m not overly confident about this fixture but hopefully if we can keep it together we can pull away with a point, perhaps a 1-1, but who knows we’ve upset them before, we can do it again. I’ll leave you with one of the famous moments of upset against Utd from a few seasons ago. Still gives me shivers watching this.

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Filed under 2011/12, Everton, Pre-Match Build Up, Premier League